In moments of reflection last night and today I thought of the bizarre-ness of the fact that God is real and everywhere and yet the amount we perceive him is probably like a grain of sand compared to the sand of every beach in the world. How is this possible? How can we miss God in His world? Its mad. Or perhaps we don't recognise him in this world - we're too busy or simply not looking? This morning on my way to work "the heavens declared the glory of God" in a sunrise that split the clouds. A glimpse of the divine from the ordinary of a car journey.
And is there a situation where I am obsuring the reality of God in my life by the way I act? Or does that make God's reality in my life dependent on my works? I guess the only way to work through this is to take it a step at a time and pray that God reveals himself more.
Father - reveal your son to me. In all His glory. For yours.
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
Sunday, 7 September 2008
Prayer
"...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chr 7 v 14.
I struggle in prayer. In my better moments I don't even live up to the worst day I'd wish to have. If that makes sense. Christianity is reconciled relationship with God but its hard to get the most out of a relationship if one person isn't talking - me. I have struggled for years with prayer, going from periods of scarcity to periods of no prayer at all. I don't want to kid myself here. Its critical that this journal is the truth for me. How can I have got to this point? How can this be the way I conduct a relationship with my King Jesus? I need to become a prayer warrior but I'm not sure how to do that. I guess by starting to pray. I've tried prayer diaries in the past which have helped for a season. I've read books on prayer. O'Hallesby's book on prayer is great. I think though, too often I've been searching for a magic formula rather than Jesus. Perhaps.
I think there is some ingrained selfishness within me that says I don't need God. I'm not dependent. There is also some sinful attitude that says I don't care enough about others to pray for them. Break my heart God. Give me a heart for you and your people. When I see your people lost help me to have compassion to direct them to you. When they "dwell in dark and sin" may you send me to be your voice. I will go Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart. Today I will pray. And tomorrow I will say "Today I will pray." And that is all I can do I guess.
I struggle in prayer. In my better moments I don't even live up to the worst day I'd wish to have. If that makes sense. Christianity is reconciled relationship with God but its hard to get the most out of a relationship if one person isn't talking - me. I have struggled for years with prayer, going from periods of scarcity to periods of no prayer at all. I don't want to kid myself here. Its critical that this journal is the truth for me. How can I have got to this point? How can this be the way I conduct a relationship with my King Jesus? I need to become a prayer warrior but I'm not sure how to do that. I guess by starting to pray. I've tried prayer diaries in the past which have helped for a season. I've read books on prayer. O'Hallesby's book on prayer is great. I think though, too often I've been searching for a magic formula rather than Jesus. Perhaps.
I think there is some ingrained selfishness within me that says I don't need God. I'm not dependent. There is also some sinful attitude that says I don't care enough about others to pray for them. Break my heart God. Give me a heart for you and your people. When I see your people lost help me to have compassion to direct them to you. When they "dwell in dark and sin" may you send me to be your voice. I will go Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart. Today I will pray. And tomorrow I will say "Today I will pray." And that is all I can do I guess.
Thursday, 4 September 2008
Why no comments?
I've puposefully not allowed people to comment on the blog because of a couple of reasons:
Firstly - I don't wish to become involved in an argument or debate about what I post - its my post, primarily for me (how selfish am I?!) and whilst I'm happy for others to follow my thoughts, I don't want to be sidetracked from a place where I meet with God and think through how my spiritual life is going. There are a million places on the internet to do that and if there is something that you really really want to tell me you can email me (I think).
Secondly - as its my place to meet with my King Jesus and put my thoughts down I don't want encouraging comments as it might make me do this for the wrong reason - I am too fond of the "praise from men" (John 12 v43) already hence no comments! Sorry.
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