"...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chr 7 v 14.
I struggle in prayer. In my better moments I don't even live up to the worst day I'd wish to have. If that makes sense. Christianity is reconciled relationship with God but its hard to get the most out of a relationship if one person isn't talking - me. I have struggled for years with prayer, going from periods of scarcity to periods of no prayer at all. I don't want to kid myself here. Its critical that this journal is the truth for me. How can I have got to this point? How can this be the way I conduct a relationship with my King Jesus? I need to become a prayer warrior but I'm not sure how to do that. I guess by starting to pray. I've tried prayer diaries in the past which have helped for a season. I've read books on prayer. O'Hallesby's book on prayer is great. I think though, too often I've been searching for a magic formula rather than Jesus. Perhaps.
I think there is some ingrained selfishness within me that says I don't need God. I'm not dependent. There is also some sinful attitude that says I don't care enough about others to pray for them. Break my heart God. Give me a heart for you and your people. When I see your people lost help me to have compassion to direct them to you. When they "dwell in dark and sin" may you send me to be your voice. I will go Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart. Today I will pray. And tomorrow I will say "Today I will pray." And that is all I can do I guess.
